


The Song

by TheHumanRat



Series: Love After War [3]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, For the most part, I made it a bit gayer but I'm sure y'all won't mind, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:40:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17495882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHumanRat/pseuds/TheHumanRat
Summary: There are three seconds between when the song clicks to stop and when it starts again. Daryl lives for those three seconds.When Daryl escapes The Sanctuary, the song is still playing in his mind. Eric and Aaron are the only things that seem to make it stop.





	The Song

Daryl curls into himself on the floor of his cell. He tries to remember if Aaron had been okay after the bat had come down on Glenn's head, but he can't remember anything properly. He wishes he could have told Aaron that he loved him as he was pulled into the fresh hell. He wishes he could have screamed for Aaron to tell Eric that he loves him. He hopes they know. He hopes a lot of things, but mostly he wishes this song would stop. He wishes everything would stop. He wishes they would let him die.

The song clicks and Daryl gasps for breath. Three seconds. There are three seconds between when the song clicks to stop and when it starts again. Daryl lives for those three seconds. He shuts his eyes and imagines that he's laying on the kitchen floor at home. Maybe Aaron is coming down the stairs and... the song starts again.

Daryl could sing along to this song if his throat wasn't so dry. He knows every word. It clicks. Daryl is sitting on the floor of a barn but Judith is in his lap, she's giggling. The song starts again.

The song is inside of him, it's burning up in the very fiber of his being. It clicks. Daryl is laying on the floor of the garage laughing at Eric's stupid joke. The song starts again.

The song has played so many times, Daryl thinks it may have been years. It clicks. Daryl can't see Aaron's face from this angle but the man is turning to face him. The song starts again.

The song sounds like the color purple, which doesn't make any sense to Daryl. It clicks. He hasn't seen his friend's faces in so long. He fears he can't remember them. The song starts again.

Daryl doesn't know if he existed before this song was sewn into his skin. It clicks. Daryl waits for three seconds. The song starts again.

Daryl begins to wonder if the song started the apocalypse. It clicks. Daryl is ready to be Negan now. The song starts again.

 

-

 

The song is all Daryl has ever known. The door opens and Daryl holds his hand out blindly for food, unable to see the moment the light hits him. The door shuts, the song clicks and... the door didn't lock. It takes less than three seconds to lock the door, Daryl would have heard it. The song starts.

Daryl sits for a few minutes and stares at the door, after a while curiosity gets the better of him. He lets the song play out two times, and the second time the song clicks, he realizes this might be his chance to make the song stop. He opens the door and sneaks into the hallway, he shuts the door behind him before the song starts. He never hears that song played out loud again.

The song plays in his bones as he sneaks through the hallways and out into the light. His eyes take a moment to focus but his bike is right there and he needs to leave. He needs to get home. He needs to find out if Aaron and Eric are safe. There's someone in his way, Daryl thinks that he remembers his name is Joey. It doesn't matter because before Daryl can really process it, the man is dead.

Jesus is here. They can't go home right now, Daryl's presence will endanger everyone. He starts the bike up and Jesus directs him to The Hilltop. Daryl's body does lots of things, but Daryl's mind stays in a dark cell in The Sanctuary.

The first time Daryl leaves the cell in his mind is when Rick walks through the gates of The Hilltop the next day. He manages to stay with them for a few hours because he knows that Rick will worry if he doesn't pretend. No-one has time to worry about him.

The second time, Daryl is being left at the Kingdom. He can only stay for a few seconds before he realizes that the only way to protect everyone is to stay here and the only way to stay here is to retreat back into his cell.

The third time, he's sitting in Carol's small house and she's asking him if everyone is okay. He has to leave the cell and look at her properly, that lie takes everything he has. Everyone is fine. Negan didn't kill Glenn and Abraham. He didn't.

The fourth time, Daryl is staring at Maggie for a long time before he forces himself out of the cell. When he apologizes, she shakes her head and tells him it isn't his fault. It's a relief that she thinks so, but Daryl wants to explain the song to her. The song that sticks to his skin in a blanket of guilt. He doesn't. She would never understand.

The fifth time, Dwight is in front of him and he has the chance to kill him. He has the chance to rip him apart and feed him to the walkers that live outside. He darts forward but he's stopped. Dwight turns out to want to help, and they can't even afford to kill him. Negan is coming tomorrow.

 

-

 

The sixth time, the cell door in his mind locks behind him when he leaves because Eric is holding his face between his palms. Aaron is running toward them and Daryl knows he has to stay with them now, he can't hide in the dark cell anymore. Neither of them kisses him and Daryl can tell they've been told about the empty shell that everyone has seen since he left the sanctuary.

Daryl can barely tell who is whispering 'I love you'. He's whispering it over and over but he can hear the men saying it right back. He nuzzles his face against Eric's neck and Aaron's hand presses into his hair, they don't seem to panic when he cries.

The three of them move toward their house slowly, neither of his boyfriends losing contact with him at any point. Neither of them asks if he's okay, it's probably too obvious that he's not. They don't try to force him in the shower, they just guide him to the bed and let him sit on the edge of it.

Finally, Eric speaks. "Do you want us to leave you be or stay with you tonight?"

"Stay." Daryl finds himself whispering, not looking up at the man.

He knows he'll wake them with his nightmares and he knows that it'll be too crowded in the bed. He doesn't care. He never wants either of the men to leave his side. Ever. He never wants to let them out of his sight. He never wants Aaron to see someone die again, he never wants Eric to be hurt again. He just wants to protect them.

"Daryl..." Aaron says, kneeling on one knee on the floor in front of him, "Do you want me to help you get undressed?"

Daryl finds himself nodding, even though for the past two weeks people touching him has been his worst fear. He glances up at Eric and then man smiles at him, but he leaves the room after a few seconds. It's not that Daryl doesn't love Eric, he does, but it's always been Aaron that makes him feel at ease with things like being naked. Aaron lets out a soft sigh and moves to put his hand through Daryl's hair, Daryl doesn't care that he's trying to take him off-guard. He lets it work.

By the time Aaron has his clothes off, Daryl is like a duck who's imprinted. He curls up against the man's side and starts to cry again, Aaron doesn't make him talk, he just holds him. When Eric returns, he climbs into the bed and Daryl reaches for him desperately. They both curl around him, forming a barrier between him and the outside world. He feels safe for the first time in months.

When he wakes up screaming, neither of them cover his mouth or try to quiet him. Instead, Aaron is whispering that he's safe and that he's home.  

"It's just a song." Daryl eventually mumbles out.

Eric pulls him close, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"They kept me in a cell," Daryl whispers. "They kept me in a cell and only opened the door to feed me, but they played this song over and over again."

Daryl tells them everything about the song. He tells them how it clicked and about the three seconds of pure bliss between each play. He tells them about how eventually he had lost track of their faces and then he tells them that he had been ready to be Negan. They don't judge him, they wouldn't ever. He's still awake when the sun rises and although both of his boyfriends have fallen back asleep, he still knows that he's not alone.

 

-

 

The Scavengers have betrayed them but Daryl doesn't really care about that. He had prepared his mind for this possibility, this eventuality. Daryl is prepared for Negan to walk straight through the gates of Alexandria and take him home, but his eyes still find Aaron and Eric in the fray to check they're okay. They're alive, that's all Daryl can hope for right now.

Daryl is barely aware of the information that Sasha is dead, he's barely aware of the people dying around him. He shoots at anyone he doesn't know and hopes that he knows the Alexandria residents as well as he thinks he does. His gun runs out of ammo but the guy he just shot seems to have plenty so he grabs a new gun and carries on.

It's over within minutes and Daryl finds himself held up against the wall by a Saviour that he doesn't know the name of. The savior obviously knows him though because he tells Daryl that he's going to take him home. Daryl's eyes desperately search for Aaron and Eric, he won't leave without telling them he loves them, not again. Not even if it means screaming it in front of all these people.

Daryl doesn't fight the man holding him, because he knows what happens when he fights. Glenn dies. The song plays. It will never end. Negan is lifting Lucille and maybe if Daryl could process that it was Carl that was about to die, he'd do something. Daryl can't process anything, because he can't see Aaron or Eric.

Negan's bat isn't in the air. There's a tiger. Shiva. The Kingdom's fighters are here now and Daryl hears Maggie behind him. Carol is here. Maggie is here. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is okay. Daryl throws his entire weight backward and knocks the guy holding him back, shooting him straight in the face. His eyes find Aaron as he returns to shooting, and then a few moments later he sees that Carol is covering Eric. When he knows they're both safe, he joins Maggie in her crusade to kill as many of the saviors as possible.

 

-

 

Later, when everything has calmed down, Aaron and Eric find Daryl petting Shiva. They stand a little way back watching him. It takes Daryl a moment to realize that they're scared of the tiger.

"She ain't scary," Daryl tells them easily, but he moves toward them anyway.

Eric laughs, "No, of course not. She's just a tiger."

Daryl doesn't quite smile, but it seems to be enough for Eric who leans forward to kiss Daryl on the cheek. Daryl checks the men over, a natural instinct in this world. You check everyone for bullet holes and bite marks. He rolls his eyes when they check him over but lets them do it anyway.

"That king guy made quite the speech," Eric says after a moment.

Daryl nods, "His name is Ezekiel."

"What's her name?" Aaron asks, pointing at the tiger.

"Shiva."

Eric laughs a little, "She saved us today."

Daryl is quiet for a moment and then he shakes his head, "I thought I'd have to go home."

His boyfriends both frown and he realizes his mistake. The Sanctuary wasn't home, no matter how much Negan had wanted him to think it was, it wasn't. Alexandria is home, these men are home. It doesn't help, Daryl still calls it home in his head and that still makes him feel sick.

"Ain't home," Daryl quickly corrects himself, not wanting them to worry. It's too late.

Eric has his hands on either side of Daryl's face again. It's a signature move, but he's looking at Daryl like he's holding the whole world and Daryl wants to curl up and die. These two men care about him the same amount as he cares about them and it hurts his heart because he's going to be ripped away from them. Daryl is always ripped away from the people he loves in the end.

"I'm never going to let them take you away from us again. You understand?" Eric rests their foreheads together.

Aaron has his hand on the small of Daryl's back and the hunter finds himself agreeing. It doesn't matter that this is war or that Daryl will have to leave them soon, regardless of whether that's to work at Rick's side or be pulled back to the Sanctuary. All that matters is that Eric believes that it's true.

When they've guided him back to the house and made him dinner, the song begins to play in his head. He curls into himself, there's no way to stop something that's attacking you from inside your own mind. Then, suddenly there is a way to stop it. Aaron's voice cuts through the music, neither man dares to touch him but their low voices and kind words are enough. Eventually, he crawls forward and attaches himself to Eric. He knows that he's beginning to get better, that Eric and Aaron will help him through this. That it might be okay.

 

In a week, Eric will be dead and Daryl will run. Eric will be dead and Aaron will be alone. One week.


End file.
